What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of the word “love”?

For me the first thing that comes to mind is the love I have for my family. I do think of my love for God too, but somehow the love I experience with the flesh-and-blood people in my life is what comes to mind right off the bat, perhaps because it’s tangible.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my love for my children. The New Living Translation of 1 Corinthians 13:7 says that “love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” That type of love I think comes naturally to most parents, perhaps mothers in particular. Moms have an ingrained unconditional love for their kids, which I believe God planted in our hearts when He created us in His image. (Fathers love their children too, of course, and it’s my observation that the emphasis with fathers and their love for their children are other attributes God imprinted in their hearts. For this piece I’m honing in on God’s unconditional love from a mother’s perspective.)

I don’t know about you other moms or parents out there, but something else I’ve learned through all my years of parenting, particularly the teenage years and early adult years, is that loving like this isn’t always easy, can be very difficult, and sometimes seems downright impossible! I’ve been tempted to lose faith, I’ve had times when I thought there was no hope, and I’ve experienced many a sleepless night thinking I was beyond any strength of my own to endure.

I’m being honest here, so if one of my kids happens to read this don’t misunderstand! It’s all part of being a mother and I wouldn’t trade being your mom for the world – you are each very precious to me and more than worth any sleepless night you may have caused me with your shenanigans.

In all seriousness, this type of love is not just for parents for their children or children for their parents. It’s not just for wives towards their husbands or husbands towards their wives. First of all, this is how God loves us. And second of all, this is how He wants us to love others.

I’m not talking about easy love here–like when you fall in love, or when you hold a newborn, or when you love those that love you and make you feel good. I’m talking about when it’s not easy! I do believe that people have noble intentions when it comes to the idea of loving others. But I also believe that, especially in this day and age, it’s become easier and easier to give up on love. I think we’ve become so self-focused and self-protective that once love requires a sacrifice on our part, or once we’ve been wounded by another, it’s easier just to give up.

And that’s sad. Because think of the marriages, the families, the friendships, the churches, and other institutions in society that would thrive if we loved God’s way.

In the New Testament the word “love” is often translated from the Greek word “agape.” Agape love is described by Got Questions Ministries [1] as follows:

The type of love that characterizes God is not a sappy, sentimental feeling such as we often hear portrayed. God loves because that is His nature and the expression of His being. He loves the unlovable and the unlovely, not because we deserve to be loved or because of any excellence we possess, but because it is His nature to love and He must be true to His nature.

The essence of agape love is goodwill, benevolence, and willful delight in the object of love. Unlike our English word love, agape is not used in the New Testament to refer to romantic or sexual love. Nor does it refer to close friendship or brotherly love, for which the Greek word philia is used. Agape love involves faithfulness, commitment, and an act of the will. It is distinguished from the other types of love by its lofty moral nature and strong character.

God’s very essence is agape love. Again, from Got Questions Ministries:

So, what does it mean that God is love? Love is an attribute of God. Love is a core aspect of God’s character, His Person. God’s love is in no sense in conflict with His holiness, righteousness, justice, or even His wrath. All of God’s attributes are in perfect harmony. Everything God does is loving, just as everything He does is just and right. God is the perfect example of true love. Amazingly, God has given those who receive His Son Jesus as their personal Savior the ability to love as He does, through the power of the Holy Spirit (John 1:12; 1 John 3:1, 23-24).[2]

People, however, are fickle. Many “love” only when it suits them, who give up because they can’t imagine spending—horrors!—perhaps years of their lives loving sacrificially. Does any of what’s described below sound familiar?

In the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. (1 Timothy 3:1-4 NLT)

Our daily lives seem rife with instances or images of impatience, unkindness, jealously, rudeness, envy, pride, boastfulness, selfishness, anger, unforgiveness, bitterness, gloating, etc.

In contrast, one of the most familiar descriptions of love, which is really a description of God’s agape love, is probably found in 1 Corinthians chapter 13. Here is a list of its attributes taken from the Amplified version of the Bible:

• Love endures with patience and serenity
• Love is kind and thoughtful
• [Love] is not jealous or envious
• Love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant
• [Love] is not rude
• [Love] is not self-seeking
• [Love] is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]
• [Love] does not take into account a wrong endured
• [Love] does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]
• Love bears all things [regardless of what comes]
• [Love] believes all things [looking for the best in each one]
• [Love] hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times]
• [Love endures all things [without weakening]

Another great passage of scripture, again from the Amplified Bible, urges us to love as God loves us:

Beloved, let us [unselfishly] love and seek the best for one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves [others] is born of God and knows God [through personal experience]. The one who does not love has not become acquainted with God [does not and never did know Him], for God is love. [He is the originator of love, and it is an enduring attribute of His nature.] By this the love of God was displayed in us, in that God has sent His [One and] only begotten Son [the One who is truly unique, the only One of His kind] into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation [that is, the atoning sacrifice, and the satisfying offering] for our sins [fulfilling God’s requirement for justice against sin and placating His wrath]. Beloved, if God so loved us [in this incredible way], we also ought to love one another. No one has seen God at any time. But if we love one another [with unselfish concern], God abides in us, and His love [the love that is His essence abides in us and] is completed and perfected in us. By this we know [with confident assurance] that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given to us His [Holy] Spirit. (1 John 4:7-13 AMP)

I was discussing this topic this morning with my husband (who I hope, by the way, will write a more in-depth piece on this topic), and he said something that really struck me. If we love others with agape (or “virtue” love), then we will more fully experience the types of love we all long for and which come more naturally do us, but which we all struggle with at times when conflict or relationship difficulties arise. The types of love that come more naturally to us, and perhaps may be what we think of when we think of love, are what the Bible refers to (either directly or indirectly) as phileo love, which refers to brotherly love; eros love which is passionate or sexual love; and storge love, which is the naturally occurring, unforced affectionate love we often experience (or hope to experience) in our families.

Agape love doesn’t come naturally. Agape love requires sacrifice. Agape love is not based on a feeling, but is an act of the will. Jesus personified agape love when He left heaven on a mission to reconcile sinful man with God through His death on the cross. How can we ever begin to love this way?

First of all, we can’t do it on our own. God empowers us by the Holy Spirit which He has poured into our hearts. We can acknowledge our need to love like this, and ask Him to teach us. And we can also look to Jesus, “the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.” (Hebrews 12:2-3)

Okay, the point of all of this is that I want to shout from the rooftops that that there is joy awaiting anyone who will risk loving like this! Joy in the here and now and joy in heaven. I thank God with all my heart for first of all loving me with His steadfast love, and then for teaching me and equipping me with the wisdom and strength to endure difficult patches in some of my most precious relationships. I have that confident expectation and hope that Lori wrote about, because I have witnessed and experienced healing and restoration and wholeness–personally and in my relationships–and the joy that awaits on the other side.

God is faithful. He knows what He’s doing. Cast all of your burdens and cares on Him, trust Him, hang in there when times are tough, and open wide your heart to His love, so that it can flow through you to those around you. Even when it hurts. Even when it requires sacrifice. It is truly the only way.

Love never fails!

Holding fast,

Lisa

I will sing of the steadfast love of the Lord, forever; with my mouth I will make known your faithfulness to all generations. (Psalm 89:1)

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

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1] http://www.gotquestions.org/agape-love.html

[2] http://www.gotquestions.org/God-is-love.html

^{Photography by Tim Marshall}